Holy cow, it's been since November 08' since I've posted!!! Wow, so I obviously can't fill in the blanks between November and now or I would be typing forever and since I'm at work on a lunch, I only have 40 minutes or so. So with that said, here I am back at the blog since I've missed it and missed listening to my music on here.. I love music!! I really need to get a computer at home that I'm allowed to type on :) My harddrive went to pots boon ages ago, Brian's computer has slowly been going to pots and now he has a new one and was going to fix mine, but low and behold his harddrive from his old computer doesn't fit mine..solution let me borrow his until we get mine fixed..notta, apparently we can't share, whatever..hehe.

So we're house hunting trying to sell ours. That's something in itself to go through. Decluttering, insanity! Now it's pretty well decluttered except for the poor garage, so we'll try to tackle that some day, and now we just hope for someone who would love to live in Chatfield (which is a fantastic town) and in our house, which I'm going to sadly miss my kitchen. Once in a great while, I even get a tear thinking about it...hmm.

What else, kids are growing so quickly. Lexi is just a riot! She's 3 and funny!! Yes there is a slight "typical 3-year-old" in her, but we're pretty fortunate with her. She likes to obviously copy things you say, but she also likes to pretend to be mommy, so she'll lecture little man when he's doing something he shouldn't be or try to prevent him from doing something. She also likes to tell Brian things like "daddy, get your son" haha. We heard that last night. We're still waiting for potty time to kick in. We need to take the time too to work with her, but until she says yes I want to go, we're waiting for her. A few times I haven't asked her if Wy is going to be potty trained before she is (he's 19 months younger) and she said yes. Good times! Wy man is getting bigger and funnier. Not saying a whole lot, but words are starting. We're truly blessed with these two and I can't be more grateful for them! Lexi's trying to figure out when the next holiday she gets a new movie and chocolate for, unfortunately for her, it'll be awhile :) I do tend to have that mommy guilt a little with working with the kids with letters, numbers, writing, etc. We worked really good with Lex until Wy came aboard, now it's been just spending fun time with them. Our daycare is spoiling us with teaching them the basics and I think we've been taking her for advantage. We love her to pieces though, she's fantastic with the kids! So if anyone reads this and has games, learning tips, feel free to post them!

My Stampin' Up! life is going on. I really need to get going with that. I absolutely love being a demo for SU and love their products, creativity outlet, meeting people, etc., but seriously need to get busy with it by having workshops, etc. I have good intentions, but my intentions seem to be more good ideas than something actually coming out of them. That's a frustrating part of my personality that I get annoyed by. Hopefully someday, I'll be able to do everything I want to do. I have some dear friends who just stay up after everyone has gone to bed and do their things, but I'm one who likes sleep entirely too much and doesn't like to be depedent on my coffee, though I have started the addiction again, that darm caffeine! I did give him up for about 9 days and I felt good, didn't miss it too much, but then we had a night where little man didn't want to sleep and we had to work the next day..uff da! When I sit a computer all day, sleepiness does not go away, so the addiction began again. One of these days I'll try to give it up again....maybe when the kids are 18 haha.

So to the woman who started me to blog, my mom. I kind-of started this as a therapy to express my feelings of losing her. So I have John Denver's, Annie's song, on my tunes on here, which is playing now. That was a favorite of my moms, so much we had it on our wedding, and I requested the same person who sang it for our wedding to sing it at her funeral. Hence, why she's made it on my blog notes today :) I miss that woman more and more. I realized that the first year a loved one is gone, it's numbing. Going through the emotions, trying to figure things out, dealing with things, numbing. Then the second year, it hits a bit more. Memories for me have become a little more clear, as it seemed with the numbness they were foggy, which made me feel terrible and guilty, but they're coming back. Last night I was praying and told God how much I missed mom and to give her a hug for me and started to go through all the things I missed about her, having her there for friendship, support, mom knowledge, someone to share our hobbies with, someone who adored my kids and they adored back (though little man was only 4 months old when she passed, but Lexi, G-ma Fisher was her favorite), someone to go to when I needed to complain, and someone who got me and loved me unconditionally even through my flaws. So you would think, thinking of all these things, especially meaning so much to me, would make me cry, but they didn't. So I'm trying to figure that one out, but than came to a tiny conclusion that maybe it's because I was so blessed to have her with me, and that I truly have no regrets about my relationship with her and how she passed. I hate it was a car accident that took her, but hearing how she was progressing/declining and knowing how she would be medically, I have no regrets that we let her go and I keep remembering that she passed in 8 minutes which obviously told us how bad her condition was. I just remember how beautiful the passing experience was and how beautiful and at peace she looked afterwards and I think that helps me be strong about things and knowing it will be okay. But man, I truly miss her and hate she's gone, but having no doubts where she is and that she's with her loved ones, also brings me peace. I've been blessed to have her in my dreams and it's so weird because it's mom. It's her after she's passed. I have these dreams and am carrying on short conversations with her about how things are now and then once I realize this, I become conscious and wake up, that sucks when that happens. But to me that means she's with me even more. Okay, so that's my after life wisdom I'm learning and realizing. Just a shout out to my mom. I Love You Forever and Unconditionally! Wonder if they have computers in heaven, haha, totally doubtful!

Well hopefully I'm back to the blogging life. Thanks for reading and Carpe Diem!