late night thoughts

So here it is Friday night at 12:28 a.m. I feel asleep in the 10 p.m. hour. As I was doing so, I thought to myself, I really would like to make those overnight rolls for the kids and hubby for tomorrow morning, don't fall asleep. I also thought, I just put a load of clothes in and would like to get them in the dryer so they don't sit in the washer all night, don't fall asleep....what did I do..fell asleep! However, either because I fell asleep on the couch with no blankets and an open window and it being in the 50's I beleve or because I heard my hubby banging things in his computer room as he is working on something, it hit me, get up and get these things done and ready, so there I was in the kitchen 11:50 p.m. starting to make monkey bread! Then it occured to me, with all the conveniences today with food kits, fast meals, eating out, why is it when Brian and I both work out of the home have a 3 1/2 year old and a 2 year old, do I feel obligated to cook everything! This is the time I should be taking up the conveniences with a busy schedule, but then I think food wouldn't taste so good or I can make what I just paid double what it took them to make it for or I should try to make it healthier and then I spend time on it or get up at crazy times to prepare things or do what I do best and don't prepare and end up taking a long time doing that when I should be entertaining or hanging out :) Then I thought about my parents and how much they/my dad liked to go out to eat because they didn't care for cooking anymore or cooking for just one or two. Then I thought (apparently I think too much when it's totally quiet and everyone is sleeping or not around me, ha), wouldn't that be the best time to cook, when your either alone or for two to really enjoy the foods and enjoy cooking and not have to worry about picky eaters, you could do what you want to do. So this will hopefully be here in another 30 years so I can see what I'm like, to cook and enjoy it when the kids are out or to cook and enjoy it me and Brian....

Then I thinking, it like little sides notes off of original thoughts, this is why I should be keeping up on blogging or keeping up on my journaling, so I have a friend who enjoys the same hobby as myself and enjoys doing things together, which I love and actually really want, but then at one time it's like I get too greedy adn want to do something by myself to get more customers, even though that's not what it's necessarily all about. So tonight it hit me, why can't I just be grateful for her friendship. She's a total diamond in the rough, was there for me in the hospital with my mom, is so supportive and listens and empathizes with me. Then it also hit me, it's because I'm jealous of her being a little bit more successful than I am with it and that also isn't what it should be about. It's about being successful in what I have and grateful for everything I have in my life at this moment, not what I can have, not what I want to have, but what I do have and with that, I say bring on us doing things together, creating friendships and having fun, because that is what it is all about! I enjoy little epiphanies during an evening, haha

Then lastly, my wonderful, goofy, say what you want in public children. Though it is mild, my sweet little princess pea-pod left me in awe and taking her out of the store. We pick them up from daycare and they are ready to go on their next adventure, hungry, ready to go, so we went to the grocery store with their grandpa, who gets them automaticallly to a different level of giddiness and excitement. So they did good right away, until she wanted to walk on her own, and then she gets this freedom kick and decides to do ballerina twirls in the aisle, not paying attention necessarily to her surroundings (one time she swung right into another little girl and made her cry, nice) and sing and be loud and silly, so we were walking and for whatever reason she started to call every female grandma and every male grandpa. It didn't make a difference how old they were or not, everyone was grandma and grandpa, and I just got embarassed when she called this one gal who was in her 40's assuming, as she had a teenager, grandma. You could tell the lady and her daughter heard little princess pea and were not acknowledging her because why would they she was saying grandma until she kept repeating herself getting louder and louder towards them. I couldn't take it, so I took her to the van. Thankfully she didn't make a total scene, but really?? Then I thought, should I have done it, she's only 3 1/2, isn't this what they do, isn't this what makes them, them, but then I thought, hell yes! She was crazy silly, loud, and needed to be contained, hahahaha. So that is that. My two cents for the evening. If you are someone and reads this, thanks! Glad I can be here randomly to take up your time :)

Cheers and Carpe Diem!